Yeah so I guess now I have "anal Crohn's" in the form of a potential fistula. I guess that explains why I walk around with paper towels folded up between my ass cheeks and have such urgency issues. Anyways, now crohn's has given me the luxury of an excuse to shove my own fingers up my ass. So after a Corona or two the other night, I laid on the couch and lit some candles (yes, literally...I am such a romantic). After the mood was set I got the astroglide out of Amy's night stand and crammed a Canasa rectal suppository up my ass. How hot is that!? So I guess the Canasa is pretty much like a Pentasa or Asacol but it just goes up the poop chute.
Gross I know, but makes for good laughs as I have in typical fashion told this story to everyone. Gotta love Crohn's humor and poop jokes. Always a good time. So I guess this is a good time for a poop joke:
At the start of English class, the teacher asked the students to use the word, definitely, in a sentence.
Little Timmy raised his hand. The teacher pointed and said, “Yes, Timmy, can you use the word definitely in a sentence?”
Little Timmy stood and said, “The grass is definitely green.”
The teacher shook her head and replied, “No Timmy, sometimes the sun is so hot, it browns the grass, so the grass is not definitely green.”
Little Susie raised her hand and said, “The sky is definitely blue.”
“No Susie, sometimes there are clouds in the sky. So the sky is not definitely blue,” the teacher stated.
Little Johnny raised his hand.
“Yes, Johnny, can you use the word definitely in a sentence?”
“Um, well … when you break wind, does it have chunks in it?” Johnny asked as he squirmed in his seat.
“No,” the teacher replied.
Little Johnny stood and said, “Then may I be excused, because I have definitely just shit on myself.”