Friday, March 21, 2008

Another Colonoscopy Monday and Colonoscopy Jokes

I need a good plan to suprise my doctor Friday...any suggestions? Anyways, here are some funny colonoscopy jokes below (i have printed them before I know)

A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"
5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
6. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey ..."
9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
10."If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"
11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
12. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
13. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"

Gotta love a good "colonoscopy joke". In fact, I love cononoscopy jokes so share em if you got em! Tell your colonoscopy joke bt entering a comment.


Chadwick said...


Those are some great lines. Probably only one a good GI doc or a Crohn's patient would truly understand.

I just found your blog. I have Crohn's. Diagnosed when I was 20, about 6 months after I was married. Now 15 years and 2 kids later, I still battle but have learned how to keep life moving in the right direction.

I'll be back here to your blog. I love the encouragement of other Crohn's patients. I put a link to you on my blog - hope that's ok. Come over and visit sometime.

Anonymous said...

ooh Poor you! we all know the bowl prep is the worst bit right?

I found this;
thought it would interest you, it is one of the more interesting Crohn's documentaries I have seen. (Let me know what you think)

Hope the outcome of the colonoscopy is good. (I have had so many I am thinking og getting a "no entry" tattoo on my butt cheek to make the doc giggle next time! ;o)

Chadwick said...

We are starting a new blog for Crohn's patients and their families to come and share. We are looking for lots of different writers to come and contribute. I'd like for you to write something for us every once in a while if you would be intereted.

Here's the site:

If you would be interestted in writing - send me an email at I'll send you and invitation to join the writers.

Hope your scope went well on Monday.

Judith said...

I like your sense of humor. Life is not fair but humor can help. Crohns is a terrible affliction, but if we can at least have humor some of the time, it is good. My mother has suffered from Crohns for 50 years, since I was 3 years old, so it shaped my life too. My father recently deceased, had Celiac disease and we three kids all have IBS and diverticulosis. Bad belly genes!

Good Luck, and may your humor never leave you.


Tonya said...

Hope all went well. I've been watching for an update so I hope that you're ok.

Gary said...

Hello there,
I am a recently diagnosed UK Crohnie - found your blog among many more sites whilst terrifying myself looking up what Crohn's Disease is all about!!

The jokes made it easier, that's for sure!

Will keep checking back - hope your colonoscopy was ok - mine was a nightmare and now I have to have a Barium Follow Through - can't wait!!
Have started my own blog

Crohn's Disease Blog