Signs that You are a Chronie! (Ahh, Love Crohn's Disease Jokes)

So one of my loyal blog readers (future trophy wife) posted this on Myspace and I had to share. Oddly enough I can relate to some of these but I feel your pain on the others! Keep smiling Chronies!

• You have a whole shelf in your pantry dedicated to your meds
• You can tell what part of your GI tract is off kilter today by the sounds..
• when you tell the phlebotomist, "trust me, thats not a good vein. no, you don't want to poke there either..."your grandparents ask you what they can expect when they go in for their first colonoscopy
• you can clench your buttcheeks so hard you are sure if you put coal in there you could make a diamond
• Your not a med student but your bookcase is 75% medical texts.
• Every skin rash triggers an emotional crisis!
• If You have larger clothes for bloated days..
• Your family comes to you for medical advice.
• You desperately wish Ensure came in more than 3 or 4 flavors..
• you stock up on clear liquids for flares or tests
• You look like you're 6 months pregnant by bedtime.
• When your cats feel sorry for you and cuddle up close to comfort you.
• You would never say I have a "stomach ache," but are more likely to say "my right lower quadrant is hurting," or "my inflamed ileum is giving me trouble!"
• You know the ER staff and all your doc's offices people by first name without having to look
• you are the only person you know that actually wants to eat salad but can'tyou have ever heard" i had the flu last week so I know what you are going through"Scrubbing Bubbles go on strike.The Tidy Bowl man leaves a "Dear John" letter.
• you see your undigested lunch bits in the toilet less than an hour after you ate it.
• you have a heating pad next to your bed for those painful nights.your husband looks at your *** and doesn't get turned on.
• You've fantasized about having a time machine for the express purpose of hunting down whoever developed Prednisone.
• you can run, unzip, unbutton, untie, and unbuckle all at the same time
• Mike Rowe refused to clean your toilet for the "Dirty Jobs" showyou feel faint when someones says," Oh Crap"….
• you take handfuls of pills at a time,you can swallow 15 pills in one swig of wateryou pay Doctor bills on a monthly basis
• you know the location of every bathroom in you local target, walmart, supermarket, etc
• You've ever "accidentally" let out a silent-but-deadly just to hurry the meeting along or for revenge on the guy who always says "just one more thing" when everyone else is ready to go.
• Your family and friends have fitted body armor and battle plans for those times they have to go Prednisone DEFCON 1 again.