Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Top 12 Joys During a Colonoscopy Exam - Let's Get Naked!!! Wooo!

I found this on about.com (written by Mike Durrett): The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services says: "Colonoscopy lets the physician look inside your entire large intestine, from the lowest part, the (you know), all the way up through the colon to the lower end of the small intestine." A long, long, lloonnnnnnnggg, flexible roving tube is inserted with a teensy light, camera, and blower.

12. The pre-show cleansing -- known at my house as "The Bottomless Spit."

11. There's nothing to hit the fan.

10. Anal probe makes you eligible for guest appearance on "South Park."

9. Crack navigation provides little chance of colliding with iceberg.

8. Zany rectal air hose makes you feel you can fly over Macy's parade.

7. Any loose change found is yours!

6. Sedatives hallucination transforms doctor into Jim Henson and you're a Muppet.

5. Don't need to wear dress-up clothes to get pictures taken. Eight-by-10s and wallets prescribed and autographed by physician.

4. That's you on the video monitor -- and, no, you don't have tunnel vision.

3. Intestinal muscle spasms taped for MTV.

2. You have a textbook colon. The bad news: You can only use a school potty.

And the number one joy during a colonoscopy examination:

Medical team refers to you as "The Outback Snakehouse."

1 comment:

Rick Fallahee said...

Funny post. My son was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease at age 11. At age 12 we found a Chineese herbal medicine that he took for three weeks and he hasn't had an issue with the disease since. His behavior got pretty bad as the medicine did have some plant steroids and also some anti-TB activity. He is disease free for 18 months now and has never taken anything the doctors prescribed. Stanford refused to treat him if we did not put him on steroids. GO figure. If you are interested in the Chinese herbs he took, send me an e-mail to rickf@fallahee.com.

Crohn's Disease Blog